Disease depression
by millie5678
Summary: Ethan and Alicia finally get married but Ethan is keeping a secret from her will he have the courage to tell her and when he does he begins to spiral down into depression
1. Chapter 1 - the truth

Hello everyone so I hope you enjoyed my first fanfiction scared , so I've had a small idea in my head for a bit and I've finally found out who to make it into a big fanfiction so I hope you like it , as always comments are extremely appreciated . Thank you for your support x

"I know pronounce you husband and wife , you may kiss the bride" said the vicar

The now married couple took hands and kissed like they had never kissed before like the whole world had stopped and nothing could go wrong for them after that moment .

They were totally wrong to think that

1 week later

"You need to tell her " caleb said keeping his vice low so know one overheard

"I know but how " Ethan said

"You'll find a way " cal said

"What just go up to her and say hey Alicia I know we're married but I may developed symptoms of Huntingtons soon then die and leave you alone for you to be a widow " Ethan said sarcastically

"Yeh exactly told you , you would think of something little brother " cal replied with the sarcasm

"Shut up" Ethan said seriously but held back a small smile

" Ethan if you don't tell her , i will she is somehow related to me now and you can't hold it off any longer" caleb said

"Oh like you didn't tell me about our biological mother " Ethan said

"That's different " cal said

"That's no where near different " Ethan said

"Why are we talking about me this was about you " cal said

"Ok tonight we'all do it together ok" Ethan said

"Ok see you later " cal said walking off

Later that night

Ethan was at home with cal and Alicia was still working at the hospital so Ethan had time to prepare what he was going to say to his wife

"Maybe if you start crying she will be upset and comfort you " cal said

"I don't want her to take pity on me Caleb I just want to tell her " Ethan said

"Fine don't use my ideas then , but don't have a go at me when she isn't happy with you as you didn't tell her sooner " cal said

Ethan was walking up and down the room talking to himself about what to say when suddenly the door opened

"Hey you okay "Alicia asked looking at Ethan

"No .. I mean yes ... I mean nothing going on here " Ethan said stuttering not knowing what to say

"right" Alicia said putting her stuff

down

Cal quietly laughed at Ethan's awkwardness

As Alicia sat down next to Ethan cal looked at him from opposite the room

"I'm sorry I can't do this " Ethan said sadly walking off to there room

"Did I do something wrong " Alicia asked worried about Ethan

"No not all all it's just there's a situation and well I'll explain in a bit" cal said running off to find his brother

Ethan was sat on the bed side tears coming from his eyes with his head in his hands caleb spotted him

"Ohh Ethan " he said running over to his little brother and hugging him

Caleb had never hugged his brother since they were kids he secretly liked it but was no way telling Ethan that .

"I know it's hard but Alicia will understand I promise and if she doesn't then she's an idiot" Caleb said trying to comfort him

"She"ll hate me I should of told her before we married " Ethan said

"Oh Ethan she won't hate you , Alicia is not like that Ethan and you know that " cal said

"Your right I guess " Ethan said

"Can I record you saying that " Caleb laughed

"No you should be happy as your never right though " Ethan laughed along

Ethan and cal walked back into the living room

"Ethan are you ok " Alicia asked worried

Ethan nodded and sat down next to her

"Alicia there's something I need to tell you " Ethan said

"Ok" Alicia said worriedly

"So when me and cal where kids we were taken away from our real mother and were adopted " Ethan stared

Cal nodded on

"And we had no idea we thought they were our real parents " Ethan continued " we grew up a normal family then they died and we had no idea about our real mother "

Cal secretly had a small tear in his eye hearing it all back made him feel very emotional as he remembers the good times with Matilda

"Until a few months ago , cal found our real mother " Ethan stopped again

"Oh Ethan that's great news" Alicia said

"A little bit yeh" Ethan stuttered

"What do you mean " Alicia Asked confused

"She had Huntingtons Alicia "


	2. Chapter 2 - panic attack

"She had Huntingtons Alicia "

"Ethan if she has Huntingtons , will that mean either you or cal ..."

Cal nodded

"Yeh" Ethan said softly

"Which one " Alicia said tears in her eyes "Ethan your scaring "

"I have Huntingtons disease Alicia" Ethan said tears falling down his face

Cal sat next to him and rubbed his back as Ethan cried

The next morning Ethan and Alicia and cal were all on the same shift at the hospital

Ethan had a lot of thoughts about Alicia wether she would accept the diseas or walk away as she couldn't cope

"Right Ethan " Jacob said walking over "patient in cubical , he has stage 4 cancer ok "

Ethan walked knee to the cubical were the man was and opened the curtain

" right hello mr Lester" Ethan said walking in "is there anyone with you "

"Well my wife Is in reception but I didn't want her to come " the man said

"Can I ask why " Ethan said walking over

"She doesn't know about the cancer she thinks I'm here as I've hurt my rib but that's all " the man replied

"Oh ok well we will get a full x ray of the rib get you some pain relief and make sure it's not because of the disease you have" ok Ethan said walking out to get the x ray booked

As he walked out he saw Alicia and Robyn together talking

Ethan walked over to talk to Robyn

As he walked Alicia notices gave a small smile and walked away which was really out of character

"Oh em can you book a X-ray for mr Lester please Robyn if that's ok " Ethan asked

" seen as though you asked so nicely ill get it done now " Robyn smiled

"Thankyou " Ethan said as Robyn walked off to get the x ray done

Half an hour later

" ok mr lester to appear to have broken a rib we will give you some pain relief but it should heal within the next couple of weeks " Ethan said

"Thankyou " the man said

Before the man could go Ethan stopped him

"I know this is not my business but why won't you tell your wife about the cancer " Ethan asked hoping the man wouldn't get angry with him asking this

"It's just in scared incase she won't accept it , she will be a widow and she will have to look after me until the day comes " the man said

" but she will have to find out some way " Ethan said

"Well if I tell her now will you be here " the man asked

"If you want me to be " Ethan answered

"I do so can you go and get her in reception " he asked

With that Ethan walked off and soon returned with the women

" oh phil are you okay " se asked worried sick

"Yeh just a broken rib " he said

"Hey what's up you can talk to me you know " she said

" look Tabitha there's no easy way to say this , I have cancer " Phil said

" you have cancer ! " she said "how long have you known "

"About 4 months " he said with guilt in his voice

"You've known for 4 moths. And didn't tell me , I married you Phil and you didn't warn me wow what nice husband you are " Tabitha shouted

"Can you keep your voice down please " Ethan asked politely but the women ignored him

"I was scared incase you left me " Phil said

"Well you were right to think that , I can't be with you knowing you lied to me " Tabitha shouted walking out

The man looked at Ethan upset

" look I am so ..." Ethan said but was interrupted

"Are those my discharge forms " the man pointed in Ethan's hand

Ethan nodded

" then I'll be off " the man said walking out as his shoulder touched Ethan he gave it a small push in saying he was annoyed at him

Ethan stood in the cubical for a while thinking to himself

** what if Alicia thinks that about me , she will leave me she can't help me , that's why she's along really weired she downs t want it be with me now that I kept this form her now that I will die soon **

From thinking This Ethan got so worked up he started breathing heavier and heavier and walked out the cubical and held onto the side of the nurses station

Seeing him Robyn and Jacob ran over to help him

But all of a sudden darkness

Ethan heard footsteps from a direction sounding like they were running

"Ok can I get a trolley over hear pronto " a women's voice called but Ethan didn't know who's it was

"Ethan can you hear me " the women said bit Ethan's mind soon went dark and everything was silent

Ethan was wheeled into RESUS and cal came running in

"What happened " cal shouted really scared

" I don't know he walked out and he was breathing really heavily and he just collapsed " Robyn said

Then Alicia ran in

" ok sounds like he has a panic attack " Elle said

"But why " Robyn asked

"I don't know he'll come around soon " Elle said " Alicia and cal you can stay but stand away please "

Soon Ethan started to come around

Cal was stroking his hair when he did

"Hey you ok " cal asked

"Yeh what happened " Ethan asked

"You had a panic attack then fainted" Alicia said walking over

Ethan stayed quiet

"Ethan ... why did you have a panic attack " cal asked confused

Ethan ignored him

"Ethan you can tell us " Alicia added

"There was a patient I told him to tell his wife about him having cancer so he did but his wife didn't accept it as he didn't tell her " Ethan said slowly

"And you blame yourself " Alicia added

" Ethan panic attached happen for your own problems there must be something more that lead to it " cal added knowing he was hiding something

Ethan again ignored him

"Ethan did you think it related to me and you " Alicia asked worriedly

Ethan didn't reply

"Ethan " cal asked

"Yeh I guess a bit " Ethan replied quietly


	3. Chapter 3- I don't need help

"Ethan I wouldn't think that " Alicia said "I couldn't blame you for having a disease and I would have done the same by being scared to tell someone "

"I'm sorry Alicia " Ethan said

"Don't be sorry " Alicia said holding his hand

"But when it starts " Ethan stopped he couldn't finish

"When it starts we will get through it together " Alicia continued

"But I don't want to be a burden on you " Ethan said

"You won't Ethan " cal said

Then Elle walked in

" you ok Ethan " for asked

"Yeh " he simply replied

"Good well cal needs to finish his shift why don't you get some rest and when he's finished you can go home with him " she said

" ok" Ethan. Said

Cal and Alicia walked out

"Get some rest I'll pick u up in a bit" cal said walking out

With that Ethan slowly closed his eyes hoping to get some rest

But while he was sleeping he was tossing, turning , crying and talking during it and cal ran in to see if he was okay

Cal was extremely worried by what he saw and quickly ran over to calm him down

He slowly woke Ethan up as he was breathing heavily and stroking his hair to calm him down

"Ethan , Ethan you ok " Cal asked

"Yeh, yeh I'm fine " Ethan replied

"Ok well you ready to go home then yeh " cal asked

"Yeh " Ethan said

As they arrived fine it was 10:45pm

"I don't know about you mate but I'm going to bed " cal laughed as both brothers went separately into there rooms

That night Alicia and cal woke up to a sound of crying from Ethan's room

Alicia ran into cals room

"Are you ok " she asked

"Yeh but I think something's wrong with Ethan " cal said running into Ethan and Alicia's room calming him down

Cal walked out to find Alicia

"Something's not right " he said

"I'm sure is just a one off " Alicia said positively

"Yeh but Alicia he had a panic attack today and earlier this happened and it's happened again" cal said

" well what do you think is up with him " Alicia asked

"I have a small feeling he's going into depression " cal said

"Well we need to stop him before it goes out of control " Alicia said

"I've seen people like this . Scars , thinking the worlds against them and , and suicide " cal said

"Don't think that cal we can help him " Alicia said

" ok we will talk to him tomorrow " cal said walking back to his room

The next morning Elle

Rang and said Ethan can have the day off work

So Alicia and cal went to work themselves and left Ethan alone which they thought nothing off

Cal had an annoying day none of the patients were interesting and he had a angry patient who was really impatient

"Look you are my patient ok trying to treat you , while I check your wrist please be patient no

Pun intended " cal smirks trying

To clear the mood

"Don't laugh about this I'm in serious pain " the women shouted

"It's just a small Cracked wrist I'm trying to help you his obviously your being to impolite to deserve any help " he shouted back

Quickly the curtain opens to se Charlie and Elle

"My office now " Elle said annoyed

" what had gotten into you today " Charlie said

" I'm sorry I can't concentrate " he said

"Why " Elle asked

" it's Ethan " he said

"Cal he had a small panic attack he will be fine " Elle said

" no you don't understand I think he has depression " cal said

"What " Elle asked

"Well the panic attack , he's been dead silent thinking and he has panics in his sleeps all the time now " cal said

"You should have said you shouldn't have left him God nose what he will do alone " Elle said then realised "cal we need to go to your house now

Cal and Elle drove to the house and opened the door to find Ethan sitting in silence looking at his wrist on the sofa

"Hey Ethan just came to see how your doing " Elle said sitting next to

Him

Ethan quickly hid his left wrist behind his back

Hoping she wouldn't notice but she did

" Ethan can I have a look at your wrist " Elle asked

Ethan showed her his right wrist

"And the other one " she said

Ethan then panicked but Elle looked at him seriously and slowly took his wrist out from behind his back and cal walked over

Ethan's wrist had words written all over it and slashes down his arm from a knife

"Ethan " Elle said

But Ethan stayed quiet

"Ethan " Elle repeated

"Why " cal said walking closer

Ethan looked up tears in his eyes and disappointed in himself

"I'm sorry I don't know why " he said looking down to the ground

Cal sat next to him

" Ethan I'm so sorry we will support you " cal said

" cal I can't get help " Ethan said

"why " cal asked

"I just can't get help " Ethan says "I deserve this "

"Ethan don't say that you out of all people don't deserve this at all but you need to talk to somebody " he said

"Ethan why don't you come to the hospital and I can clean them wounds for you " Elle said

" but no body can see me like this " he said

"I'll Make sure no one does " Elle said

Ethan knew he needed to get them cleaned incase if infection so he agreed to go with Elle

"You can easily clean them here" cal whispered to Elle

"Yes but he goes there maybe I can get somebody to come

Down and talk to Him " Elle whispered back

The drive to the hospital was silent with Ethan lost in his thoughts and finally they arrived

Elle led Ethan to a private side room and immediately started cleaning his wounds

Once she'd finished she left cal and Ethan to talk while she went and got got someone and shortly returned with a man

" hello Ethan my name is carl "

The man said walking over slowly sitting next to him

" can I have a look at your wrist please " he asked kindly

Ethan slowly revealed his wounds in his wrist to the man

The man slowly took hold of Ethan's wrist and had a look

"Knife wounds right " he asked

But Ethan stayed quiet looking at the ground in distress

" Ethan I'm here to help you , I'm sorry but you do have depression and I need you to talk to me so I can help you " he said caring touching Ethan's wrist

Ethan winced at the pain

"But I don't need help , I may as well die now " Ethan said quietly tears in his eyes

"Why do you want to die now "carl

Asked

Then the doors burst opened Alicia must of heard Ethan was here , Alicia ran over and sat next to Ethan hugging him into her chest to help him then she noticed the scars in his wrists she was shocked , devastated she never thought it would happen so quickly


End file.
